Don Chavez

You sir, made your mark. At 91 years old, we say goodbye to Eugene Polley, the guy responsible for you staying on your couch for hours upon hours during Law & Order Labor Day marathons. he invented Zenith’s Flash-Matic remote in 1955, changing the way the world views television. Could you imagine the crap we’d be watching if this guy hadn’t come along? We’d all be watching ‘Private Practice’ till our eyes bled.

Thanks for making life easier, Eugene. Perhaps a little too easy.

Kelly Brook has had quite a Cannes experience. Yesterday it was announced that she had been offered a million euros by some rich dude to spend the night with him, ‘Indecent Proposal’ style. It’s assumed she turned him down. Then, also yesterday, she’s found in this swimsuit getting snapped prepping for a photoshoot. I have to say that’s more eventful than the busiest week of my life. Which was the first week I started kindergarten. That shit was crazy. Cuh-razy.

After the break see the rest of the pics…

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A child has been hurt, yet I feel like a horrible person for laughing at the drunk who takes a header outside the window in the background. At first, I thought that he was doing a photobomb of the newscaster, but it’s pretty clear this dude doesn’t have the wherewithal to tackle a project that intricate. Nope. This guy just fell out the window, as drunks do from time to time. What were the odds that this guy would be wearing a shirt when he did this? A billion to one? A trillion to one?

No chance at all, actually.

I would expect these to be the house drinks of Comic-Con if it wasn’t for the fact that San Diego would be overrun with loud, man-children flipping over cars and screaming about Star Wars. As it is, it’s probably best that they only exist on the Internet…for now. Take a look. These definitely aren’t the most accessible drinks in the world, but they could be good for a theme party, which you hopefully aren’t considering till at least Halloween.

Click here for the pics…

Her name is Lolo Jones, and everything you need to know about her is in the title. Oh. And her event is the hurdles, in case that matters. She’s running to qualify next month, and she competed in the 2008 games, so you know she’s not coasting on her substantially great looks.

And, yes, she’s a virgin. But she’s maybe trying not to be?

She said that she’s gone through several dating sites and Twitter (!) to find a prospective boyfriend, which is pretty ridiculous, because I have no problem dating her right now. End the search, sweetheart. Your prince charming is here.

Oh, and in case you want to get in hunt, even though I hate competition, you can scope out her Twitter here.

Best of luck to you guys. She’d be lucky to end up with any one of you. (That’s a lie.)