My buddy Rugrat recently took a trip to the recently reopened Golden Banana Gentleman’s Club and sent me his review. Enjoy…

Beers: 1.5 boners out of 5

Despite being cold and refreshing, I often found myself running to the ATM, maybe it’s the 10 lap dances I got, or maybe it’s my mental problem that giving these chicks a ton of money is going to get one home with me, either way, the beers are way too expensive

Girls: 4 boners out of 5

I found the girls to be not only pleasant, but attractive, however, when I am at a gentlemen’s club, staring into the pink eye, I don’t want them looking at me, maybe try looking at the ceiling, or closing your eyes, I know I’m a perv, I don’t need you to make me feel like an even bigger perv. My favorite chick of the night was a southern bell who brought with her a lovely texas accent. She took a liking to me quickly, and I of course started throwing out my patented Rugrat one liners and she was hooked.

Waitresses: 2.5 boners out of 5

The waitresses were very prompt, sometimes too prompt. I went with a group of friends, 6 of us, and we were doing rounds (which cost about 40 buck each time). I found myself with a beer in hand and 2 full ones in front of me, may have been our fault for ordering a round every time she came over. Also, I found the waitress no all that attractive. Usually when you go to the club, the waitresses are hotter than entertainers. My buddy Joe was able to get one of them to show him her tots, the catch, she was 38 with a kid… goo

Bartenders: 4.5 boners out of 5

Smoking hot chick bartenders, need I say anymore?

Cover: limp

$5 before 7, $10 after 7. All week long. Lame..

Overall: 4 boners out of 5

The overall experience was highly enjoyable. I was able to take a mental picture home with me and well, you know the rest. The one major thing that was lacking from this club that I feel is a necessity at an entertainment establishment like this is massage girls. There’s nothing like some random chick’s clam in your face while you’re getting a back rub from another random chick.