Don Chavez

One of my buddies sent me an email this morning that read “check this out, it’s pretty cool”. I opened it up and followed the link to Williams Sonoma and found the Beer Tender.

Since then, I have told my friend that he is shunned until he commits an act to prove his masculinity. Why? Let me break it down for you…

1) The Beer Tender is a $299 beer coozie. I have a 99 cent version that will work just as well.

2) It only works with the 5 Liter Heineken Keg. Beers named after my friends Bud, Sam, or George won’t work with the Beer Tender.

3) It only holds a 5 Liter keg. Do the math. That’s only 14 beers. If you can’t finish 14 beers in one sitting, send me an email with your address. I’ll come over your house and head butt you in the gunt.

4) No man should be perusing Williams Sonoma’s website.

5) Williams Sonoma should do their research. For $200 more I can get this bad boy that will house an actual keg for me.

I don’t know what my buddy will do to become unshunned, but I suggested that he get drunk and bang a fat chick. Either that or re-enact that scene from “The Program” where Joe lies down in the middle of the road while reading Sports Illustrated.

To admit that you’re a chick click here ==>William Sonoma