PROVIDENCE, R.I. - State police say they arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level was 0.491 percent — the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn’t dead.

Stanley Kobierowski was taken to a hospital, put in the detoxification unit and sedated, said Maj. Steven O’Donnell. He was arraigned Tuesday on charges of driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest, and he was released after promising to appear Friday at a court hearing.

“The person’s lucky they survived,” O’Donnell said. “There’s no doubt he would have gotten killed or killed someone if he had continued on the route he was taking.”

Lucky to have survived is right. I can’t understand how this guy got his BAC up so high without mainlining Jack Daniels just before jumping in his car.

Now I’m sure this guy is going to get a slap on the wrist since drunk is drunk, and the judge won’t make a distinction between buzzed and comatosed. But in my opinion I think the only fair punishment in this case would be a weed whacker to the nuts for 30 seconds while watching a replay of the ESPYs. That or a mid-morning love making session with Bea Arthur.