Michael Phelps recently told NBC that he’s consuming about 12,000 calories per day, and his diet consists of the following…

Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

We’ll I’m here to step in and tell you about you’re better suited with the new and improved blogger diet. For the first time every, I’ve documented what has driven tens of thousands of bloggers through countless hours of searching for new Erin Andrews pictures.

Breakfast (If you’re even up that early): 3 egg omelet, 2 bowls of fruit loops, 1 can Red Bull

Lunch: 2 leftover slices of pizza, 1 Steak and Cheese sub, 1 bag (large) of potato chips, 1 can Red Bull

Snack: 1 box of mozzarella sticks, 1 can Red Bull

Dinner: Large deep dish pizza with sausage and pepperoni, 6 boneless buffalo tenders with blue cheese dressing, 1 can Red Bull

Dessert: 1 can of Red Bull, 3 cigarettes/half a tin of Skoal Mint

Late night snack: Ice cream sundae with Snickers bar jammed into it, 1 can Red Bull

Trust me, as a blogger you need to consume plenty of calories to keep your energy level high, and this diet is proven to work. After only 4 weeks on this diet, your Adsense revenue will be at $1 a day, and you’ll look like this…

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