Dear Assholes,

Tom Brady has torn his ACL. He probably tore his medial meniscus and medial collateral ligament as well. I may or may not have chosen Sports Medicine as my career choice, and I unfortunately saw the injury in person from a stone throw away.

Potential breaking news update coming later, depending on how drunk I can get a certain someone and get them to open their mouth. If not, I’ll just post some hot cheerleader pics tomorrow.

Love,

DC

P.S./Update….I don’t care what anyone says, this injury is worse than a torn ACL.