Gloucester Might Put A Cap On Teenage Pregnancy

The School Committee in Gloucester, where a report of a high school pregnancy pact made headlines worldwide earlier this year, is planning to vote tonight on whether to allow contraceptives to be distributed at the high school.

The three proposals expected to be discussed when the board meets at 7 p.m. at City Hall include providing contraceptives to students, providing contraceptives to students only with parental consent, or continuing the current policy under which no contraceptives are provided.

Hey, free contraceptives for teenage girls might be a good idea for the town of Gloucester, but how the hell is that going to keep them from banging homeless guys?

I mean there are some strange fetishes out there, but when the girls of your local high school are looking to get impregnated by a homeless guy, you know that your in trouble.

Better yet is the proposal for contraceptives with parental consent. So basically if you have a note from your Mom, you can get laid. But what happens if you get a note from your Mom on Friday, but you don’t get laid that weekend? Do you have to get another sex permission slip the following weekend?

Maybe the Mayor of Gloucester should just have Jamie Lynn Spears come in to give a talk on the perils of teenage pregnancy. She seems to be an expert as of late.