There is only one way for me to do justice to these photos, and that is with individual commentary. So grab yourself a cup of coffee, the fat ass of your secretary, and click below to relive a night in the life of Freddie Mitchell.


Shit, I got an invite to T.O.’s birthday bash!

Who could be in that limo? Is it Terrell Owens!

Let’s just go inside. It’s got to be T.O.’s limo.

Hey this is that overpriced shit that rappers drink. Let’s take a picture with the bottle!

Seriously, is this T.O’s limo? Fuck. It’s Freddie Mitchell!

OMG, which one of us is going to get to bang the guy who knows T.O.?

Kissing contest ladies. Lay it on Freddie, but do it quick. I’m going to be a substitute teacher after this season!

Freddie, if I sit on your lap can I meet T.O.?

T.O., it’s me Freddie. Get over here, these hoes said I’d get some if they could meet you. Terrell!!!!! Why you actin’ like you don’t know me!

Freddie, T.O. took all the hot bitches, but I’ll stay with you!

For more on the life and times of Freddie Mitchell, just Google phrases such as “Super Bowl Bull Shit” and “self overhyped former NFL receiver”.