Don Chavez

The dude pretending to be the dude that pitches for the Yankees was in court on Wednesday. Apparently locals haven’t taken too kindly to the Joba Chamberlain impersonator, whose real name is Ryan Ward, and they’re looking to throw the book at him.

Now I couldn’t really give a shit about a few bagel places getting taken for a free breakfast here and there, because they shouldn’t be doing that in the first place. You’re running a business not a charity, assholes.

For me, the story gets real interesting when Ward’s attorney stepped up to the plate…

His attorney, Constantine Bardis, called the charges against Ward a “tragedy.”

“What’s the crime in pretending to be someone?” Bardis asked. “I’m Mel Gibson; want to have a drink?”

Ward did not harm or alarm anyone by acting the part of a major league pitcher, Bardis continued. The complaint to police probably came from someone who simply was peeved at having been fooled, he said.

“Picture waking up the next morning and realizing the guy you made love to last night was not Joba Chamberlain,” Bardis said.

Now, I ask you this question. What’s worse, waking up next to Joba Chamberlain in the morning, or waking up next to someone who you thought was Joba Chamberlain then realizing that it’s not him? I think either way you’re fucked, because there’s a 99% chance that either one of them gave you the Herp.