You know the Super Bowl party scene has hit rock bottom when you’re keeping up with the Kardashians.
With the economy sacked this season, even the activity surrounding the Super Bowl, which will be played on Feb. 1 in Tampa, Fla., between the Arizona Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers, is slowing down. “It’s never been this soft before,” says Alan Bachand, a party promoter and hotel broker who has been working the Super Bowl for the past 12 years. “There just aren’t as many good parties going on. Hot tickets that were going for $3,000 are now selling for between $400 and $700. The parties aren’t getting as much sponsorship.”
Wait a minute. $400 to $700 for a Super Bowl party? Does that come will some sort of all you can squirt hand job buffet, featuring retired Vivid actresses? WTF.
Seriously, anyone who pays to get into these parties should just send the money to me instead and sponsor this site. I’ll even give them the top banner on the page, and have it read “I’m the asshole that was going to pay over $400 to go to some shitty Super Bowl party.”