Don Chavez

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch one bit of the Grammys, and with the Internet there’s no reason to. Probably the highlight/lowlight of the night was Chris Brown turning his ass into the LAPD for opening a can of whoop ass on an unidentified female ***cough, Rhianna***.

Other than that, it was a pretty uneventful night. The Boss took home a Grammy, and a bunch of hot chicks were there to see it. After the break, I’ll give you a run down of the fur that was in attendance.

Hey, Marisa Miller went to the Grammys! Definitely not because she’s a musician, but probably because she was the model for one of the hottest IPOD photos ever.

Kim Kardashian was in attendance as a correspondent for E! I’ve never seen someone look like they want to deep throat a microphone so bad. Oh, and I’m not a fashion expert, but isn’t that what Kardashian “does”. What the hell is that she’s wearing? It looks like some sort of a high class beat rag for rich people.

In related girls named Kim news, Kimberly Caldwell attended the Grammys and brought her plunging neckline along for the night as well.

Holy shit, what the hell happened to Nikki Cox? Do you think that Jay “I want” Mohr Cox realizes that he caught this one way past her prime? This chick is about two surgeries away from being the cat lady.

Paula Abdul hit the red carpet, and it looks like she did it in an unfashionably sober way. Do you think she realizes that she’s being fazed out of American Idol for that other chick?

Miss Paris Hilton left her mansion and gave the Herp to an entire row of attendees.

Kate Beckinsale wore one of those funny dresses that looks like it was made for a fat chick, but at the last minute the fat chick couldn’t afford the dress and her Rent-A-Center payment, so they altered the top half so a hot chick could wear it.

So that’s it for another shitty award show. Hopefully someones titty will come bombing out at the Oscars, because so far the award season has been zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.