Olivia Munn made an appearance at the premier of “Watchmen”, and now geeks everywhere are running to grab a can of Crisco.

Speaking of which, one of my college roommates used to keep a can of Crisco next to his bed to fap with. I’m not kidding. He said that butter didn’t work, but shortening did the trick. Also, he never go laid, which I can’t believe because what chick wouldn’t want to get freaking after a guy uses the old “why don’t you lube me up with that there vegetable shortening” line.