A convicted sex offender is once again facing charges after allegedly being caught masturbating in the Lakeview Cemetery in Howell.

Howell police allege a woman walking in the cemetery spotted Albert Sidney Reimann, 67, with his pants around his ankles and masturbating.

Prosecutors have charged Reimann with aggravated indecent exposure, a high-court misdemeanor, according to Livingston County District Court records. He returns to court Wednesday for an exam conference.

Reimann’s prior criminal history included convictions for second- and fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct as well as breaking and entering.

He is jailed on a $100,000 bond.

I wonder how long you have to go without sex before you walk through a cemetery and find the need to crank one out? I’m assuming I should ask some of my married readers, because from what I hear the girlfriend stops giving it up right after the honeymoon.

Maybe that explains why my uncle married a Peruvian prostitute. She doesn’t seem like the type of woman that would ever withhold the vagene given that it’s the best selling product in her business.

Sorry, I got side tracked. Back to this guy beatin’ off in the cemetery, where the hell are the rest of the details? This is why print is dead. Any knuckle head blogger would have scored an interview with this guy asking him what type of headstones turn him on the most. Instead, we’re left with something along the lines of “a dude was tugging it near dead peeps, a lady saw him, she was scared”.