Don Chavez

I guess this is indoor soccer, but it’s played inside of a gymnasium and nobody speaks English. For all I know, this is actually just a gym class for adults and everyone invited their mother to come and watch. That would explain the five people cheering in the background.

One thing I have to acknowledge is the lack of effort by the goalie. I think it was pretty obvious that this guy had a long night of sitting on his ass and drinking beer ahead of him, when he got dragged out of his house by his friends because the regular goalie was kidnapped by gypsies.

This was all compounded by the fact that he was required to wear a pink uniform. What happened, did the sporting goods factory run out of panties and tank tops?

I think it’s obvious that this chick is an engineering student. Now for your morning dumper!

Geography lesson on Argentina (boob salad) – EHOWA
Lion attacks reporter on live tv – Nothing Toxic
Cameron Diaz in a bikini – NS4W
Best tattoo ever – Holy Taco
Tree versus house. Who wins? – Totally Crap
Danni is a trashy Myspace chick – HGOM
Body painted soccer hotties – CO-ED Magazine
Seriously, it’s the best keyboard cat ever – Kontraband
Paris Hilton gives a lap dance – Dirty Rotten Whore
Mary Castro and her giant cans – Gorilla Mask
Japan plays capture the flag, with nipples – Blog of Hilarity
More Cameron Diaz in a bikini – Glamzilla
San Diego State 2009 Undie Run – Busted Coverage
The NEW Sham Wow – Tasty Booze
Katie Cassidy in Maxim – Camel Tap
Hump Day hotties – Funtasticus
Some nice boob salad on this chick – Barstool Sports
10 awesome idiot bike vids – Big Stupid Idiot
Amazing words added to the dictionary – Unreality Magazine
That is some classy beer! – Bachelor Guy
Madonna and Guy Ritchie in the noood! – The Frisky
Hey, another Snuggie parody! – College Humor
Jackie Degg and her awesome boob salad – Next Round
Sesame Street on acid – Atom
Butt Hole Road (SFW) – Funny Hub
The Anna Rawson vid you haven’t seen – In Game Now
65 pics of awesomeness – YepYep

Earlier today I did a post on Kari Byron being pregnant. Yaaay! However, since I was in a Mythbusters kind of mood, I Googled co-host Adam Savage.

Warning – there are some things that cannot be unseen!

Now if you’re like me, you have “safe search” turned off in Google. Well, if you drop Adam Savage into the old Google Images search box, you get a nice surprise. I’m just going to say that the guy is a real asshole.

P.S. I’m serious, don’t let your curiosity get the best of you.

I love boob salad just as much as the next guy, but on this one I’m going to say no. I would not motorboat Tori Spelling.

Why?

The answer is simple. Those cans are so horrendous that she’d only ruin future motorboat experiences for me. I’d probably become motorboat gun shy and this would not only affect myself, but also countless cougars across the United States who have the prospect of receiving a drunken motorboat from me just before closing time. It’s not a game, we’re talking about real lives here. Lives that could be better off by me removing chest glitter with my face.

Damn you and your frankentits Tori Spelling!

Evidently Kari Bryon of Mythbusters got laid recently because she’s pregnant. From the picture above, things look to be moving along smoothly (check out that boob salad).

She was also featured on Pregnancy 360, where they did a cute little piece on pregnancy myths. The only problem is that the article is loaded with stupid shit like “do pregnant bitches crave pickles and ice cream?”

How about some real questions like “Can a pregnant chick still clean the house and make dinner?”, “Do pregnant chicks get really horny?”, and the one that Robert Schimmel put into my mind, “Is it true that if you do a pregnant chick doggystyle, you’ll go to Hell?”. All of these are viable and useful questions, but maybe they’re being saved for an actual episode of Mythbusters.

Kari Byron is preggers – Pregnancy 360