Don Chavez

Forget about Mr. T singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” at Wrigley Stadium (according to Jeff Gordon). Mr. T’s finest musical moment came in the 80′s with the smash hit, “Treat Your Mother Right”.

The song and video was such a huge success, that Nancy Reagan even requested a photo opportunity with Mr. T where she sat on his lap and made him hum the entire time.

Life is good for both Jimmy Johnson and Terry Bradshaw. Over the weekend, Johnson held a party for the grand opening (really a rebranding) of JJ’s Big Chill down in the Floriday Keys. Terry Bradshaw was in attendance, and so was that lovely POA that made her way into several photos. One can only hope that if there is a romantic connection between Bradshaw and Ms. Boob Salad, that Terry isn’t thinking about heading to the altar, because I don’t think the saying goes “the fourth time’s a charm.”

As for Jimmy Johnson, the man is a freakin’ business machine. He now has a bevy of restaurants/bars, and a residential development in sunny Florida. Yet, somehow the man finds time to go out with friends, knock back a few, and pose for a few pictures wearing a sombrero.

JJ’s Big Chill Grand Opening – Webshots

What a minute. There’s a fucking handbook on how to fuck over the tax payers? Where do I sign up? I guess I’ve been losing millions by spending my time writing on this blog instead of trying to screw you and your children out of your tax dollars.

Speaking of shitty government policies, how about social security? Let’s say your parents are both 50 years old, and they have been paying the maximum amount towards social security for the past 20 years. Using some rough goof ball math, that’s over $1M they would have contributed. Now let’s say on your 20th birthday, Mom & Dad go to a swingers party, Mom plays turtle with 12 hairy men while Dad gets doubled up by two fat chicks. Dad has about ten Gin and tonics and decides to drive home while dressed as the biker from the Village People. On the way home, they hit a telephone, the car goes up in flames, and they both die because they’re unconscious. In the meantime the whole incident is documented in the local paper, and there is a picture of your father burnt to a crisp wearing leather chaps circulating on the Internet. Your life is in shambles and you’re barely a man. Oh, and you know how much of that $1M + of social security money you’ll see?

$510

The MILF in question is Camila Alves, who was a chick I had never heard of until Holy Taco decided to write her up after squirting taco sauce all over her photos from the confines of their office.

Here’s a little fun fact about Camila. I deducted 2 points from her on the MILF scale when I learned that she breed a child with Matthew McConaughey.

Peruse more of Camila by clicking here.

This video rocks. I love it when a filmmaker gets right to the point and just shows you what you want. Most people would have shown this kid doing a couple test runs without a faceplant, but who the hell wants to see that? Instead we got six seconds of glory, and unfortunately the kid bleeding and crying for his mom was cut out.

Oh well little guy. Remember to pop back up on those skates and to keep practicing, because there’s a career in poverty ahead of you if you’d like to skate for a living. Either that or you could become a blogger.