According to the astute Bild.com, actor Dustin Hoffman stays fit by slapping the salami. I have the feeling something was lost in translation, but they quote him as saying, “I jog and I do light weights. I fondle myself on occasion too and that burns calories, I believe!”.

Look, all I know is that if Bild.com publishes it, it’s got to be true. Especially when they run a headline like “DUSTIN HOFFMAN Masturbating keeps actor fit“