Don Chavez

It’s a sad day when Playboy Magazine backs down to a feminist shitstorm.

Playboy wordsmith Guy Cimbalo penned a hilarious piece entitled “So Right It’s Wrong”, in which he listed the top ten conservative women he’d like to hate fuck. The article was pulled after a bunch of chicks got their granny panties in a bunch, and now Playboy is on the receiving end of a media hate fuck.

The media is trying to equate hate fucking to rape, but let’s clarify that right now. Hate fucking means to have consensual sex with someone that you hate. That’s it, end of story. No violence or roofies required.

Now that being said, have you heard the way these chicks talk?

I’m sorry, but you’re going to tell me that having sex with that chick (Pamela Geller) wouldn’t be hate sex? Unless you’re channeling a deep Fran Drescher fetish, it’s wham bam thank you maam – I’m out the door as soon as I’m done so I don’t have to hear you talk. And that my friends is how hate sex is done. I don’t like you, but I’d do you.

If you’re a regular reader of this site, you get it. You know that just like Cimbalo’s piece, this post is all tongue in cheek, and for that there was no reason for Playboy to take the post down. However, I will commend Playboy on the use of their 404 page, because with everyone of these political dipshits linking to the former article, they’re actually sending their readers to a picture of naughty blond with a tight ass, bending over in a g-string (CLICK HERE TO SEE IT!).

Before I get to the Pièce de résistance, I just want to tell the ladies out there that this is just how men are built. We drink, gamble, smoke, fart, and fuck. We can do all of them without you, but the fucking part is much better if you’re there. However, sometimes the only women available want cash, or we don’t like them on a personal level, and in either case we’re willing to bend our morals to get the job done. If you didn’t already know this I just made your life easier, because now you know why all of those one night stands didn’t call.

To my loyal readers, the ladies of Playboy’s hate fuck list is below (with pictures). The comment section is open and drinks are on me.

P.S. To all the “men” out there crying that Cimbalo was wrong, grow some balls will you? Chicks dig loyalty, and they’re not going to sleep with you because you take their side on this one. They’ll probably just think that you’re gay.

Michelle Malkin

Megyn Kelly

Mary Katharine Ham

Amanda Carpenter

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Dana Perino

Laura Ingraham

Pamela Geller

Michele Bachmann

Peggy Noonan