Don Chavez

SALEM, N.H.—Police said a man drove his car at a friend in Salem, N.H., after the two argued over a $10 bar tab. The man, 23, was charged with two counts of first-degree assault, reckless conduct and criminal mischief. Police said the man and a co-worker were out drinking on Friday, and the two went to the co-worker’s house early Saturday.

Police said the two began arguing over a $10 bar tab. The suspect drove his car, hitting the co-worker, causing him to flip onto the hood.

Police said the suspect left but returned and crashed into a garage door and light post and drove over lawn statues. Then they said the co-worker’s father came out and the suspect drove at him, striking him. The father suffered minor injuries.

If I had a nickel for every time someone tried to screw me on a $10 bar tab, I’d have enough money to pay off everyone else that I’ve screwed out of a $20 bar tab. Does that make sense? It should. It means I get to drink for free.

As for these two clowns, this story doesn’t add up. I want to say that there was a trash bag full of organic ingredients that was never paid for or something like that, because taking out a garden nome, light post, garage door, and a parent doesn’t add up to $10 worth of booze. Then again, this was New Hampshire and I think they use the metric system up there, so who knows this might have been an eye for an eye.