Don Chavez

Jessica Simpson’s body is ridiculously schizophrenic. Two months she’ll look preggers, one day she’ll look not preggers, then one day her yabos will dominate the Internet like we’ve never seen cleavage before. Look at those things and tell me you don’t want to blow bubbles against them, give her a $20 bill, and ask her where the champagne room is?

Oops, what I meant was this is one of those days where she doesn’t look preggers.