Don Chavez

Shauna Sand hit the beach this weekend (I know breaking news), and decided to go topless. Good for her. I’m glad she’s not ashamed of her body or the fact that it looks like someone used a wood burning kit to highlight the perimeter of her pepperonis.

You remember those wood burning kits? That was the gift that aunts and uncles gave to the nephews that they hated in hopes that they would “accidentally” burn themselves. I got two every Christmas.

After the break, check out Shauna’s sick tan lines, puffy botox, and my strategically placed logo.

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If you were invited to the White House, what would be the one thing that you would want to do? Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman made nooky all over the Lincoln Bedroom. Bill Clinton ruined an intern’s dress in it. Tony Hawk? Well, he skateboarded in it.

Tony shared these pictures via Twitpic, but something tells me that he’s not the first person to skateboard in the White House. If my memory serves me correct, that honor would go to Chester Arthur.

If he gets another chick tattooed on the other side he can be a walking menage a trois.

If someone asked me what Mel B’s talent was, I’d probably need a few minutes to think about it. I honestly don’t know, but if I had to guess I’d probably say gagging Eddie Murphy with his own dirty sweat sock, tying him to his bed, stripping his clothes off, spreading all sorts of gay pron on the bed around him, taking pictures of him, and then telling him to make her famous or she’d expose him as a sweat sock eating gay pron addict.

I think it worked because this braud get’s more press now than when she was leading the whole girl power (it’s okay to be a slut) movement.

Is this rock bottom for Kelly Clarkson? I’m pretty sure she’s ordering up two of those meatball sandwiches that Busey likes.