Kim probably needs to lay off the rice and beans for a while. That dumper is out of control (maybe I photoshopped the picture a teeny tiny bit).

As for Kim’s cohorts in these photos, that’s Lisa and Brittny Gastineau. Lisa was sperminated by former New York Jet Mark Gastineau, and then Brittny showed up. They had their own reality show where they basically did nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing nothing. As in they were fucking boring so they didn’t get a second season of doing nothing for the camera.

So in the spirit of doing nothing and getting paid for it, Brittny and Kim have been hanging out together a lot lately. They’re BFFs! Little does Brittny and her mom know that clinging onto Kim Kardashian doesn’t get you paid.

Hint: Sex tape ladies. How about a little mother/daughter tag team on a midget action?

That’s the only way either one of you will be relevant. Nobody is going to pay one red cent for a photo of you unless these video or pictures of you on the internet with some road beef on your forehead.

I’ve said it a million times. I don’t make the rules, I’m just here to help these fake celebrities out. Now excuse me while I go watch a Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathon. I heard in one episode Kim’s sisters are jealous of her and they have a 60 second argument. So exciting!