This video is old because it’s been on the Internet for 24 hours (that’s how the Internet works), but I couldn’t resist posting it. You see I’m a sucker for a good fart, especially when it’s on live television. Actually, anytime there is a live audience if you fart near me you’ll probably have me in tears laughing.

I’m not talking about the silent yet violent, you just shit your pants and your trying to hide it farts. I’m talking about when you straight out cut one real loud in a public place just to be obnoxious. That’ll get me laughing and probably get you a high from me.

Come to think of it, let’s go through my personal list of my top 5 most obnoxious farts…

1. On a tour of the Tower Bridge - Fresh off the plane and straight into the pub the night before, I was quite hung over while doing the touristy thing in London. I was with my buddy and his girlfriend, and well, I just didn’t give a damn. I let’er rip right in the middle of some guy’s speech about how the bridge was built. Fortunately with such a large group of people, nobody was the wiser as to who the culprit was.

2. During my high school principal’s drug and alcohol speech – This was the seasonal speech telling athletes not to drink or use tobacco or to face the consequences. Sitting on the hardwood gym floor, I shifted and fired off a round. The echo off the floor was phenomenal, and everyone (including the chicks) blamed it on my buddy who was sitting next to me.

3. Right before a cop pulled me over – So I might been visiting a friend in college and forgot to gas up my car the next day before getting on the NY state thruway. Fortunately for me and my hangover, I ran out of gas about 3 miles away from the next gas station. Was I going to walk 6 miles round trip to get gas? Fuck no. I just hooked up a tube to my – just kidding. I called AAA and waited, and farted. Fortunately a statie would be coming by and pulled over to ask me why I was parked in between the thruway and the oncoming traffic ramp. When I rolled down the window he must have been overcome with the most noxious smell known to man. He cut drilling me with questions short, and went on his way.

4. During a job interview – I was doing the job interview and the interviewee was douchetastic. I broke wind and told him that was how I thought his interview went. The door is over there hombre.

5. During sex – What can I say, I’m a pig. I knew I wasn’t going to marry or date her, and this was the type of girl that well – wouldn’t care? So mid-hump I dropped some sulfur knowledge on her and what did I say? “OMG you just queefed!” So from this day forth, if you ever use that maneuver on a chick, remember to refer to it as a “Don Chavez”.