Don Chavez

Before I get started with today’s column, thought I would just let everyone know – it seems I’m obsessed with my butt this morning from the pics I chose to share. People have been asking me to post more candid shots, so here you go (editor’s note: I photoshopped Jessica’s ass in there b/c I was torn between the candid or her face and her booty – so this way you get both). You guys will have to let me know if you want more booty pics or not. Sorry for the crappy quality – my friend Karen took these recently on a couple of occasions when we went down to the beach on her cell phone, which I swear is from 1972, so try and look past the shitty picture quality – it’s the subject matter (me) that’s interesting I hope And yes, that really is a jean skirt – and yes, it’s short — but for some reason in that shot it looks way shorter than it really is, probably since I was still putting it on when she took that pic. I have my bikini bottoms on underneath, just so you know.

This weeks question comes from both Rob19 and Brett – and they both had more or less the same question : “But how has sex been since you lost your leg? Have you been able to find any new positions, or fun things to try? And how would you rate it versus two legs – better, worse, same, or just different?” I’m always in a mood to talk about sex so this one seemed like a fun question for this week.

It was probably like around six months after my amputation that I had sex for the first time after everything that had happened. My friends took me to the Yard House – a really awesome brew-pub chain that has some locations here in Southern Cal (and maybe elsewhere). I was still really new to the whole world of prosthetic limbs, so was totally still not used to walking with a prosthetic leg, that’s for sure. I walked like the bride of Frankenstein back then. I was up to getting out of the house though most definitely.

Anyway, I somehow managed to meet a really nice guy that night – which is rare for me, which is a story for another day. He didn’t know right away that I was an amputee – since he and his friends came over while my friends and I were sitting in a booth. Eventually I had to get up and use the bathroom so it seems like the whole place was watching me walk – or so it seemed in my mind anyway.

I was trying my hardest to walk as normally as I knew how at the time, but I’m sure it was quite a site to see. When I got back to the table, of course I got the whole “did you hurt your leg” question. As you’ve probably gathered by now, I’m a little bit of a smart ass, so instead of ducking the question – I just came right out and announced to the whole table that “I’m an amputee” — probably way louder than I should have, but I can blame the few drinks I had by that time. As loopy as I was when I said that, I remember thinking inside that wow, I really am an amputee now and this isn’t all that much of a joke – since I’m going to be getting around on one leg for the rest of my life. That sort of sudden realization killed my mood.

We exchanged numbers, and we went home. A few days later he calls me up and asked if I wanted to go have dinner with him. I liked him – so why not, and I told him sure. So to make a long story a little shorter, he picks me up, we had a great dinner and a really nice time. We end up back at my place, and invite him in for a bit – yeah, girls like sex too boys, so that was definitely on my mind since it had been so long. Okay, it was *really* on my mind – there, a little more how it really was that night! I was a nervous wreck though – since nobody other than my girl friends had seen me naked since I lost my leg. We fooled around on the couch for a while – it felt so incredibly good to have someone caress my breasts. God that was nice – and totally put me even in more of a mood to get crazy. At that point I was the one who grabbed him and we headed towards my bedroom. My top was off already by that point, but still had my jeans and a bra on.

While he’s undressing, I’m freaking out wondering what he’s going to think of all of this when he sees the “real” me. So off comes my bra and I struggle to take my jeans off. It’s much easier to just leave my prosthesis in the jeans, as opposed to trying to take the jeans off of the leg, so I do that. Of course he’s got his clothes off way before I do — with all of the struggling with my jeans, so by this point, he’s watching me do this. Great. So finally off come the jeans with my lovely plastic leg still in the pant leg – sort of a weird site. I didn’t want this “weirdness” I was feeling to ruin the mood, so I just stood up near the edge of the bed so he could have a good look at what’s left of my leg – in case this was going to be too much for him. He said something really sweet – and told me I had an amazing ass I was somehow thinking he was going to tell me I looked like an extra from a horror move or something, so that was nice to hear.

Still this was totally uncharted territory for me — didn’t really know what sex was going to be like and if it would be “weird” now — much the same questions you guys are asking now. I like to be on top so I instinctively went for that position – not realizing that not having two knees to balance on would be hard! Thank God my stump is long so that was sort of cured with a couple of soft pillows under my stump, but still sort of awkward. So he flipped me onto my back. I love to wrap my legs around my partner when I’m on my back having sex – it somehow makes it feel way better for me. So that was another strange thing – that I couldn’t really do that like I used to. So I just wrapped my right leg around him and sort of squeezed my stump into his side.

After, even though it sort of was a relief that it was over — even though I had really wanted it, I remember thinking that it was certainly different than before I lost my leg. Not worse, not better, but different. Had to do things that felt good to me in different ways. I was totally relieved that it wasn’t the horrific ordeal that I had played out in my mind. The worst part I think was having to undress in front of him – as bold as I am, somehow I felt really self conscious doing that.

I hope this at least somewhat answered your questions Rob19 and Brett! Thanks to the both of you for reading my posts and sending in the question!

Have a lovely weekend guys!

Jessica (@jessicamit)