jizz-el

So I joined a gym today since I’m trying to get in shape for football season, and by that I mean preparing myself spending Saturday and Sunday afternoons drinking beer, and housing wings and pizza. I’m getting older, and I’m afraid that if I don’t keep my body in prime physical blogging condition, I get incredible fat and lazy, and I’ll have to resort to Vlogging – like this guy.

I bet you he vlogs because he has sausage fingers. They’re so fat he has to hunt and peck, or else he ends up hitting multiple keys. So then he looks down at the keyboards, and sees his sausage fingers and all he wants to do is glaze those bitches up with some maple syrup and start licking.

In boob news, if you don’t bring home some pussy tonight and don’t have the money for a whore, I recommend this NSFW link. Honestly, it’s better than most of the talent at your local strip club, it’s free, and best of all you won’t get herpes from it.

Tomorrow I think I’m going to try and get tickets to see Britney Speaaahs. I spent all day trying to win tickets, and I swear to all that is perverted and injust, I won this contest. I had the Britsleaze Wikipedia page open and sent the correct answer 25 seconds after they posted the question and instead they gave it to some teeny booper. I’m calling shenanigans. It’s bullshit because I bet they are incredible seats, and Britney’s vagene is going to fall out and I should be there to take a picture of it. Maybe even pose with it, because she probably wouldn’t notice that she was serving up roast beef in public again.

I could go on and on, but if I stay here and write all night there’s now way I’ll find a lucky lady tonight like the one pictured below. She exudes class, and I believe in the photo she’s exuding it from both her mouth and her nose.

Later.

classy

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