osu


Via The Lantern

Police arrested a 45-year-old man Wednesday night in connection with a recent series of flashings in the University District.

A joint patrol unit of Ohio State and Columbus police officers arrested Charles W. Holcomb, of Sullivant Avenue on the East Side, after an officer reportedly saw him masturbating while looking into a woman’s East Norwich Avenue residence. The officer discovered Holcomb after responding to another report of public indecency a block away on Norwich. Holcomb was also charged for that incident.

Police say Holcomb is a suspect in a recent series of similar incidents in the University District, including one that occurred Wednesday night on 8th Avenue. According to police reports, three women said they saw a man exposing himself outside their apartment near South Campus.

Investigators are still trying to determine how many incidents Holcomb is linked to and how long he has been performing such acts in the area, but similar incidents have been reported since at least June.

Holcomb was charged with possession of criminal tools for using a penis pump while masturbating, two counts of voyeurism, two counts of criminal trespass and two counts of public indecency.

He is also listed as a registered sex offender for performing gross sexual imposition against an adult female. He was charged in 2004 for failing to his verify address, and he was also charged in 2005 for voyeurism and criminal trespassing, but those charges were dismissed.

What is it about Ohio State that just makes people want to crank one out? It can’t be good looking women, because I don’t care how big your school is, you’re not sporting grade A vagene unless you’re in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Texas, Arizona, or Southern California. It’s a fact, you can research it in the New England Journal of Poon which is published annually by me. It’s probably available at your local library.

Now as for Chuck Holcomb I hope he has a good lawyer who can at least get him off the hook for the “criminal tools” charge. I mean how is a cock pump a criminal tool unless you put it on your roommates chest while he’s passed out and make a giant hickey? Even them, I’m not sure it’s a criminal tool considering that it would probably be retribution for the time he rubbed his balls on your pillow case because you ate his leftover pizza.

So I guess my point it this, I have no point and there is now one less cock pumping, public masturbating voyeur on the loose in Ohio.

America!

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