Don Chavez

Hey it’s Ashley Greene, the chick from the movie from the book that I’ve never seen or read. I think it was called “Twilight”, and I guess it’s a big deal if you’re into that shit. I guess it’s also a big deal if your into gratuitous red carpet cleavage as well.

Why do chicks keep on trying to top Heather Graham’s domination of this dress? Unless Anna Kournikova wants to give it a shot, I think this dress needs to be retired from the red carpet.

Yesterday the Seattle Seahawks sent viewers running for sunglasses. The Titans became the Oilers while playing against the Titans that were really the Giants. Two weeks ago the Patriots sported their old school jerseys back from the days when they sucked donkey dick – the years of the franchise that I’d love to forget.

Enough is enough.

I understand that it’s cool/funny when someone shows up sporting an old jersey from decades ago. Good for them, they had the fortitude and laziness not to throw out any clothes since they were in high school.

But for the majority of people, these uniforms are ugly and too much fucking thinking. I’m pretty sure nobody knows what happened in the Seattle game yesterday. Everyone just sat there for four hours repeating, “holy shit those uniforms are ugly”. While on the East Coast everyone kept saying “what, which team is the Titans?”

I mean if doing throwback uni’s is such a good idea, why don’t other business adapt it? Like why doesn’t everyone wear Zoot Suits for one year to work? You know why? Because if freakin’ gay (not in the ass way – but in the coolness way). In all walks of life, the throwback uni should be banned because if it was cool the uniform never would have left.

If you disagree with me, then go sport a jersey like this one pictured below and let me know how many times you get laid in October – and hookers don’t count.

Previous winners:

Week 2: Mark Sanchez

Honestly, if you were in line behind Eva Mendes at the airport, would you give a shit if it took you thirty minutes to get through security? I think it’s obvious that this was a win-win situation for everyone. You rule out Mendes as a terror threat, and you get a mini peep show in the process. Your only problem though is getting through security with that bulge in your pants.

I think there’s only one simple way to explain it.

Holy shit, I’ve already watched this video four times and I can’t get enough of it. I wish the video kept rolling though, because $10 says the guy walked over to the dead dove, picked it up, and threw it into the air again like the reason why it didn’t fly was because he “did it wrong”.