How many times do you think January Jones has heard the pick up line, “I wish it was January all year ’round”? I’d say easily in the hundreds. The number of times it’s worked? 0.

Personally, my school of thought is that if you’re going to go with a cheesy line, why not use “want to get a pizza and fuck?” I shit you not, the success rate is higher than 0% and on top of getting laid you ALSO get pizza. If you’re lucky, you might even get pizza at the same time – because what self respecting whore doesn’t want a greasy Domino’s box on her back while you shout things like, “I’ve got your deep dish sausage right here!”

Respect me!