Don Chavez

Shocker, right? It’s about time cheerleaders woke up and realized that they can make 100x more money and have 100x more fans by doing porn. See her SFW pics here.

The American Music Awards were last night, and from the look of things, Kristen Bell might have been the highlight. That is unless you’re a fan of Adam Lambert receiving a simulated blow job on stage, in which case his performance probably made you jizz in your Under Roos.

Well it isn’t every day that this happens. One minute you’re eating popcorn and watching Jeopardy, the next minute you’ve got a truck parked in your bedroom and a naked guy gushing blood all over the place.

But wait there’s more…

“His arms, his head, his legs, I mean he had blood all over,” Reppert said.

Reppert’s daughter ran inside to get the driver a towel to not only cover him up but to stop the blood.

But from there, Reppert said things got even crazier. The driver climbed out of the vehicle.

“He jumped out the window and he was butt naked,” Reppert said.

He then ran toward Reppert’s house and his daughter.

“She thought he was going try and get in,” Reppert said. “My daughter was trying to hold that door shut and that’s when he assaulted her.”

“He started punching me and hitting me and stuff and grabbing my clothes,” said Brittany Reppert. “He started grabbing at my shirt and trying to lift it up over my head and like trying to pull my jeans down.”

Brittany Reppert’s boyfriend wrestled the driver off her but the weirdness continued from there.

“He was standing in front of everybody masturbating,” Reppert said.

Does this get the award for the WTF story of 2009? I mean it’s straight out of a horror movie, only instead of having glove with razor blades or a chain saw, the villain tries to kill you by jacking off on your front lawn.

Via

If you don’t speak Crackhead, you might want to fast forward to the 2:45 mark to watch this guy get knocked the fuck out. The sad thing is that our economy is in such bad shape that by the time he came to, his $20 was only worth $15.

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