Could this be any more staged? Ok, guys. 1, 2, 3, take pictures right now while I pull my big fake tit out of my bathing suit!

Heidi Montag can stop this charade, as well as the getting a divorce bull shit. You have no career and nobody wants to pay you for shit unless it involves Vivid Entertainment.

After the break see some pictures of Heidi Montag pretending to lose her top in the ocean…

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