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Without further comment, here’s a sampling of the headlines on the front page of the “Crime” section of ‘The Huffington Post’ right now: “Woman Who Was Allegedly Kidnapped, Set On Fire And Shot Gives Birth”; “Naked Attacker Who Ate Victim’s Face Identified”; “Wayne Carter Threw Intestines At Officers After Stabbing Himself, Police Say”; “Housewife Faces Firing Squad Over $2.6 Million In Smuggled Cocaine”; “Michelle Obama Attends Beyonce Concert “(?); “PEE PROBLEMS: Man Allegedly Urinated On Woman During Argument”; “ANIMAL DUMPER? This Vet Is Accused Of Tossing Dead Pets On The Highway”; “Darth Vader Robs Bank”; “Rutgers SpyCam Convict Apologizes For ‘Stupid And Childish Choices’”; “LAPD To Hear Manson Family Member’s Conversations With Lawyer”; “NYPD May Search Landfill For Etan Patz’s Body”; “Commune Leader Allegedly Told Child To Lie About Member’s Death”; “Supreme Court Won’t Review Case Of Pregnant Teen Tased 3 Times For Speeding”; “16-Year-Old Shot To Death At Her Own Birthday Party”; “German Girl Kept Like An Animal For 8 Years”; “Police: Gunman Holding Hostages In Indiana Realty Office”; and my favorite….”Boy Locked In Filthy Coal Bunker Every Night For A Year.” It sounds like he won a contest or something.

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She passed away two years ago, but because Kathie Lee didn’t do her homework, we’re left with this incredibly cringeworthy clip. Huge credit to Martin Short, who doesn’t correct her until the commercial break, but rather just smiles, and talks about how much he loves her. Awesomely classy move for Short, the opposite of an awesomely classy move for Kathie Lee, who will probably get a scolding for this one.

Speaking of Martin Short, if you haven’t seen the movie ‘Clifford’, run, don’t walk to the video store to watch it. Or download it. Whatever. I’m old-fashioned.

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Denise Richards

It’s not that complicated anymore, is it, Denise? Here’s the former Mrs. Sheen posing in a bikini for no particular reason other than probably a) she was paid, and b) people want to see her in a bikini. She’s aged pretty well, especially considering she was pretty old when her career began. She tried to keep her age a secret, but it’s out, and she’s a pretty hot 41 year-old if I may say so myself.

After the break see the rest of the pics…

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Perhaps the most universally reviled All-Star game (and there are a few in contention) is the NFL’s Pro Bowl, historically played a couple weeks after the Super Bowl, when no one gives a shit about anything football related. The NFL got hip to that after about 30 years, and moved it back to occupy the bye week between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.

After the NFL was toying with the notion of killing the Pro Bowl for 2013, it’s been announced that the game is coming back to Hawaii for 2013, and will continue to haunt us with really stupid rules and players that don’t care about the game.

According to commissioner Roger Goodell, the game is being continued at teh request of the players. Duh. They get flown to Hawaii to play for about 15 minutes while hungover. Other than that, they get drunk on the beach and bang out the types of girls that would fly to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. Of course they don’t want it to stop. That doesn’t mean they’re objective, nor does it mean that it’s a good idea. I mean, who pays for Pro Bowl tickets? It’s gotta cost a fortune to fly the officials and crews out to Hawaii. I guess the NFL makes enough money that they can do this sort of thing. Good for them, I guess. I’ll be on the toilet if anyone needs me.

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Katie Price

Even on an ironic level, I can’t say that I’m a huge proponent of curlers in hair. It is just too evocative of the 1950′s housewife thing, and that is NOT a sexy look in my book. The rest of the outfit is underwear, so I’m on board, but the curlers make this British beauty look more like E.T> than a gorgeous model. That said, kickin’ body. I would buy what she’s selling. Many times over.

After the break see the rest of the pics…

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