This is it. The defining moment in my life. I’m only drinking beer that has been retrieved from a stereo-shaped box. If it can play Tone-Loc or Young MC, then I can just go ahead and die a happy man now. Seriously. The rest of the world will just disappoint me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be humming “Another One Bites the Dust” while getting shitfaced on one of the least tasty beers known to man.

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