Take a look around, NFL referees. This is as good as it gets. This is the first and probably last time that people will admit to not hating you with a passion. Last night, you came back and got applauded because the entirety of NFL fandom realized that you are not actually the absolute worst people at your job. For the past three weeks, we’ve dealt with worse people, and that makes you look comparably better.
Take it all in. Come Monday, things go back to the way they were.
You just know these people are going to smell. It’s Friday, but that doesn’t mean we’re taking a vacation from learning. Guyspeed has put together a not-quite exhaustive list of people who you know will smell just by looking at them. So take warning and tread lightly. Also, bring some matches.
If we’re really trying to be helpful here, the best advice we can give is to just avoid dark alleys altogether. They’re bad news bears. However, if you insist on frequenting poorly-lit alleys, WE insist that you steer clear of the likes of these folks, who made not hurt you, but will certainly scare the crap out of you. But we’re nearing Halloween, so maybe you’re in the mood to be scared. Whatever. Do what you want and let us know how it goes.