If we’re really trying to be helpful here, the best advice we can give is to just avoid dark alleys altogether. They’re bad news bears. However, if you insist on frequenting poorly-lit alleys, WE insist that you steer clear of the likes of these folks, who made not hurt you, but will certainly scare the crap out of you. But we’re nearing Halloween, so maybe you’re in the mood to be scared. Whatever. Do what you want and let us know how it goes.