Don Chavez

I’ve always said that if I ever start to go bald, I’d just shave my head. It’s low maintenance and looks a hell of a lot better than that roadkill coif that Trump sports. On the other end of the spectrum, there are the guys that will do anything to make sure that they have a full head of hair. Some go for the comb over, some just grow a mustache, others opt for the hair transplant.

From what I’ve seen it looks like the hair transplant is becoming an athlete favorite. While I can provide you with evidence of this, I cannot provide you with evidence that the “seed” hair is provide by one’s own ass (hey that’s the rumor I heard). So without further ado, I present the Hair Transplant All-Star Team.

Doug Dieken

Doug makes the squad based on the amount of hair that he has put back onto his head. I’m pretty sure they mixed up the before and after photos, but either way Doug still looks like a going who is going bald.

Mark Lemke

Sorry Mark, I just don’t see the difference. Looks like you just combed your hair differently. Besides, you were a baseball player. I thought you guys wear a hat everywhere?

Mercury Morris

“Just letcha sooooul glo!” Mercury, I’m glad that you admit that your hair is anything but perfect. Personally I think you took this hair transplant gig just so you would have another chance to pose with that “perfect” football.

Jimmy Hart

“The Mouth of The South” should be able to sell lots of hair transplants, which made him a shoe in for this team. My research, which consisted solely of thinking about the stereotypical wrestling fan, shows that 90% of wrestling fans are balding. Genius.

Wade Boggs

Clearly the MVP of this group, Wade is the poster child of hair transplants (who hasn’t seen his commercials?). Boggs also makes the squad because he batted .417 on days when he had perfect hair.