Via Boston.com, it seems that school administrators are doing their best at a Massachusetts school to keep attendance down at football games.
Students at Lincoln-Sudbury Regional High School will have to bring a parent or guardian if they want to attend the school football team’s game on Friday, a tough new policy enacted in reaction to widespread drinking at the last game that forced two students to go to the hospital and left seven suspended.
The students were disciplined after they were caught binge drinking or with alcohol on Friday at the football team’s home opener, school officials said. At least two were treated by ambulance personnel on scene and taken to a hospital by their parents.
That’s right, you need to have a parent with you in order to attend a football game. Isn’t the reason you go to high school football games so that you can participate in underage drinking?
I can remember back in the day being jealous of my friends. While I destroying people on the gridiron, they were busy getting shitfaced and dropping a deuce in the middle of a booth in McDonalds (true story).
But I’m just getting side tracked with my glory days. Let’s not let L-S off the hook on this one. After all, there is no way that their students are stone cold sober when doing this in front of the entire school…
This dude is such an overachiever. When I want to break a light bulb, I just drop it on the floor and leave it for the maid to clean up. But this guy is better than that. He needs two safety pins, some rubber bands, a cell phone, and a shot of stupidity to break a light bulb.
I wonder how this guy wipes his ass. There’s not a doubt in my mind that it involves some steel wool, a bamboo stick, and a midget that he met outside of his local 7-11.
John Starks. Former New York Knick, current Knick’s executive, and now clothing line entrepreneur. That’s right, John Starks has gone all Diddy on your ass with a new line of clothing called Zipaway.
According to this recent interview, his pants use zipper technology. That’s right, not button technology, but zipper technology! So now when your friends want to pants you, they can use zipper technology instead of button technology.
Let me go on the record as saying that this is going to be bigger than velcro sneakers, and velcro sneakers have been around for…wait, they don’t make velcro sneakers anymore?
With the long hair and those silly leather bracelets, this guy got what he deserved. I’m actually pretty disappointed that he didn’t cry, but I like to think that he did during the portion where the video cuts. Fore.
You’re shitting me right? You toss toddlers around, video tape it, and put it on the Internet? If this was part of the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, I might not be as disturbed. I lived in China for a while, and let me tell you, baby tossing is the norm over there. You’d go out for a few drinks, sing some karaoke, then make side bets on who would drop the baby first.
Enjoy this video while it lasts, I’m sure it will be coming down once the police raid this place.
Utilizing poor judgement, Reebok has decided to sell a Monopoly themed sneaker this Fall. Without a doubt, these are the ugliest sneakers I have ever seen, but I’m sure they’ll make for some great trash talking on the court.
It won’t be long before you hear the following on the basketball court, and it will actually make sense…
- Do not pass go, do not collect $200 bitch! (after a block)
- Your handle is so loose, you’re giving the ball away like community chest. (after a steal)
- You owe me $100 in rent (because you really owe the guy $100 in rent)
That’s right, now you can leave me all the hate voice mail you want for free. If you scroll down to the bottom of the sidebar on the right you’ll see a box that says “Leave me a voice comment”, just click on it and dial the phone number and you’ll instantly become an Internet celebrity.
If you guys leave some funny ass messages, I’ll keep the comment box up there and highlight my favorite comment each week. It might even turn into something where I start giving away free shit each week or month for the best voice comment.
SARASOTA - The longtime manager of Bobby Jones Golf Club was arrested Wednesday on felony charges that he cashed in nearly $10,000 worth of bogus gift certificates at the city-run course’s pro shop.
Ray Grady, who managed Bobby Jones Golf Club in Sarasota for 19 years, resigned two weeks ago.
Ray Grady is charged with fraud, forgery and official misconduct. He resigned two weeks ago after 19 years as manager, citing personal issues.
Ray is a fool. Everyone knows the way you make money working at a golf course is selling the range balls on Ebay. Either that or hiring a bunch of prostitutes to work the course under the cover of being a drink cart girl.
“Gentlemen would anyone like their wood polished?”
So the big question that remains to be answered is how the hell did Ole Ray get caught? I’m not Kojak, but I think I have a clue who might have thrown him under the bus. Someone evidently didn’t get a free sweater from the pro shop…
Stephen Gillum, an annual fee holder at the course and a member of its city advisory board, said Grady’s arrest was not a surprise.
“He always thought he knew everything and that Bobby Jones golf course was his own personal property,” Gillum said.
PROVIDENCE, R.I. - State police say they arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level was 0.491 percent — the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn’t dead.
Stanley Kobierowski was taken to a hospital, put in the detoxification unit and sedated, said Maj. Steven O’Donnell. He was arraigned Tuesday on charges of driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest, and he was released after promising to appear Friday at a court hearing.
“The person’s lucky they survived,” O’Donnell said. “There’s no doubt he would have gotten killed or killed someone if he had continued on the route he was taking.”
Lucky to have survived is right. I can’t understand how this guy got his BAC up so high without mainlining Jack Daniels just before jumping in his car.
Now I’m sure this guy is going to get a slap on the wrist since drunk is drunk, and the judge won’t make a distinction between buzzed and comatosed. But in my opinion I think the only fair punishment in this case would be a weed whacker to the nuts for 30 seconds while watching a replay of the ESPYs. That or a mid-morning love making session with Bea Arthur.
