Don Chavez

Yes this is true, and probably the strangest story of the year. A 44 year-old man in Guangzhou, China suffered damage to his penis during a traumatic accident received a penis transplant from the body of a brain dead 22-year-old. The surgery occured 8 months after the accident, due to the fact that the man could not urinate properly or have intercourse. Two weeks after the surgery, the man had the transplant removed as it had a significant psychological affect on his wife.

So what happens to the 22 year-old if he pulls a miraculous recovery and wakes up to find out his parents gave away his “unit”? It would be like something right out of an SNL skit.

Read the full story at Yahoo! News

22 year-old Heather Kane was busted by undercover Mesa, Arizona police attempting to hire them to kill a girl who was on her boyfriends myspace page.  It’s underdetermined as to whether or not the boyfriend was two timing her, or if this is just a case of psychotic jealousy over a photobucket image.  This story would have an even better twist if it turned out that said girl was actually just a man who does MLM posing as a women to attract attention to their website!

Waaaa I was raped. Waaa Daddy didn’t love me. Deborah Lafave is selling crazy and nobody is buying. Her interview with Matt Lauer is full of denial and passing the buck onto other “problems” such as being bipolar, being raped by a boyfriend during school when she was younger, and not having her sister around.

For the second year in a row, the MassCrap has been canceled by Suffolk Downs, citing loss of revenue to Rhode Island and Connecticut casinos and slot machines as the cause. The $200,000 Grade II race was scheduled to be held as a prep race for the Breeders’ Cup on September 30, but now they are worried about just being able to finish their fall meet.

The solution to this is simple; either meet the needs of the premier (if you can classify it as that) track in Massachusetts, or just get rid of the tracks all together. Why tinker around with this issue any longer. If you’re not going to meet the needs of the horsemen, then why not just close the tracks and allow OTB’s to open instead (I have no clue what the regulation of OTB entails, but I do know that the overhead is much lower than a track facility). Either way, there is one thing that Massachusetts does not want to miss out on…the revenue generated by the FANS of horse racing.

 A few days ago, I received an email from DRF, pitching me on the idea of buying one of the ridiculous DRF T-shirts for $19.95.  Personally, I don’t even like the newspaper version of the form, and always print it out from the online version.  The newspaper version is cheap paper that rips easily, and if you have moisture on your hands for drinking a cold one, the ink runs all over you creating a mess. 

Beyond the goof ball t-shirt itself, I’m still trying to decide if this guy is the lovechild of Henry Winkler and Steve Carell.  Look at him, the resemblance is amazing!

Next time DRF wants to create a shirt, they should take some creative pointers from T-shirt hell.  Below are a few examples of their shirts.

Saint Liam outside his barn after winning the 2005 Breeders’ Cup Classic.

During the week before last November’s Breeders’ Cup, TVG asked trainer Richard Dutrow Jr. how he felt about Saint Liam’s chances to capture the Classic.  His response?

“I’m all in babe.”

Saint Liam was true to form, and scored a one length victory over Flower Alley on a fast Belmont Track the following Saturday.  I was fortunate to be there in person that day, and see Saint Liam end his career in style.  I even had the chance to the five year old Horse of the Year, upclose back at his barn after the race (see above photo).

He finished his career with a hefty $4,456,995 in purse money, and nine wins, six seconds, and one third in twenty tries.  His 2005 campaign was stellar, winning four out of six Grade One stakes races, and earning a triple digit Beyer in all six races.  Had the front running Commentator not been cut lose on an uncontested lead in the Whitney, Saint Liam surely would have capped off the season with five victories.

The son of Saint Ballado was retired less than a year ago, after the Breeders’ Cup Classic, and owned by a syndicate, was sent to Lane’s End farm for stud duty.  At a stud fee of $50,000 he had 115 mares in foal for 2006.

To the dismay of many horse racing fans, Saint Liam suffered a “slip and fall” injury today, which resulted in his tibia shattering into twenty pieces.  He was transported to Rood & Riddle Equine Hospital, where x-rays were taken and it was established that surgery and/or casting was not an option.  He was later euthanized.

In the shadow of Saint Liam’s death, lies the recent announcement that Lost in the Fog has terminal cancer, and will also be euthanised relatively soon.  One can only wonder if Lost in the Fog will suffer longer, as a result of a PR move to prevent the 2006 racing season from looking like the death montage at the Academy Awards.  To nobody’s surprise, I can already see the headline to stop the montage.

“Barbaro eats grass again.”

The War Emblem saga continues, as Japan is in denial that he is gay. The Japanese say that it’s just a phase, but War Emblem says he was born this way. This year, War Emblem was shown 100 mares, and only covered one. Unfortunately, that sole mare is not in foal, so War Emblem will not sire any foals in 2007.

Perhaps it’s time to try some unorthodox breeding techniques. For instance, they could use a male teaser horse, but as War Emblem nears the teaser they could blindfold him and pull the old switch-a-roo with a mare. It can take less than a minute for War Emblem to deliver his seed, and maybe he won’t realize that it was a mare. If they want to take it to the extreme, they could pull the double switch-a-roo and bring the male back after War Emblem is done with the mare, and dump a bucket of yogurt on the male’s back before removing the blindfold.

Since War Emblem has “brokeback” into the headlines, I thought I’d repost one of your favorite videos-Brokeback War Emblem

I’m sorry, but even if I spoke Japanese I don’t think this would make sense? I suppose it’s better than an elephant.

If you thought bottom level claiming races were boring to watch, check out Banei horse racing. I don’t see how this is entertaining at all.

These jockeys must be in tip top shape to stand on that iron sled. Now that’s athleticism, at it’s worst.

The 2006 Preakness Stakes was a disaster.  A black cloud now looms over the sport of horse racing.  What was supposed to be the cocktail hour before the big dance, turned into a heart wrenching tear jerker.

I was unfortunate enough to be at Suffolk Downs for the big day.  My group opted to watch the race outside the clubhouse to avoid the crowd, and when Barbaro broke through the gate early the place erupted.  Inside I wanted to run to the window and scream give me my money back!

After Barbaro was given the okay by the vet and jockey Edgar Prado, we were all set for what was to become part of history.  As the gates opened, I said “Good he got a clean break”, and as I finished that sentenced Tom Durkin declared that Barbaro was being pulled up.  At first I thought he was just rank, but that wasn’t the case, he had multiple fractures in his right hind leg.

The rest of the race was just a blur.  My eyes were on the screen but my brain absorbed none of it.  I couldn’t believed what had just happened.  It wasn’t until I got home that I was able to see the replay on ESPN of Barbaro trying to run on three legs.  It was like watching a Olympic runner blow a hammy in his only chance at a gold medal.

As I am writing this, Barbaro is in surgery to try to save his life.  Racing is no longer an option.  The TVG network has been on damage control for the last 17 hours.  They’ve had interviews from various people who were at the track and vets calling in to explain what happened, and what is being done to save what many thought was the next Triple Crown champion.

So now the clock resets, and we all must wait a very long year again, to see if we can have a Triple Crown champion.