This guy probably can’t make it through a night without waking up to piss at least six times, yet he can drain 209 consecutive treys. But let me tell you one thing. Hands down, he’d be the first pick for my YMCA league team. He’d be money in the bank and nobody would play D against him because of his age.
Note: If I were the Spurs, every time Shaq gets fouled I would play the segment of this clip where Fred gives Shaq some free throw tips
If you’re lucky, your boss is out of the office today banging his mistress in some luxury hotel while your supposed to be slaving away in your cubicle. You’re probably still a little bit drunk from Thirsty Thursday, and going home with that girl was a big mistake. The last thing you remember was lying on top of that fat girl and hearing her say, “just use the bag of flour”, and then it was lights out.
I can’t help you with last night’s mistakes, but I can help you kill the workday with Free Movie Friday. This week, it’s “Dude, Where’s My Car?”. It’s not the best movie in the world, but I have slim pickens for what I can put up on DC for free movies. If anything, I recommend fast forwarding to the drive through scene and watching that a few times. And then…
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for Charles Barkley to run for governor of Alabama. I wonder how many times they had to reshoot this gem because of Barkley dropping an F bomb.
I don’t know what Dustin Pedroia, square roots, and Jim Rice have to do with buying tires for my car, but evidently Paul Sullivan does. On top of that, I don’t know why Pedroia squats down to talk to the girl. I mean he’s got two, maybe three inches tops, on her. I rank this commercial just a hair above Rocky’s “Beast Aftershave” spot.
It might as well have been Steve Martin, because this video is a piece of garbage. I’m sure it will go viral because people are idiots and will believe he really did this. In the meantime, I encourage you to try this at home, but only if you have an Aston Martin.
Granted we’re only three groups into the opening round, but either way Ian can go home saying that at one point he was winning the Masters. On a serious note, is there any way that Tiger doesn’t win the green jacket? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so focused since the clip below where he farts at the 29 second mark.
Also, I’ll be live blogging the Masters all day on this post. I’m kidding, who the fuck would live blog golf? I still don’t understand why people live blog anything. I struggle enough with trying to time my trip to the fridge for a fresh beer with the time out during a game. Throw some blogging in there, and I’d probably forget to hit the head and end up pissing all over myself.
Dick Masterson is every feminist’s worst nightmare. He absolutely owns the pig in the pink shirt, and I don’t know how Dr. Phil himself didn’t burst into laughter. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to read this guy’s book, Men Are Better Than Women
Update: Evidently I’m way behind on the viral phenomenon that is Dick Masterson. I don’t know how I missed him on Free Shirt Friday.
40-50 agents meet up at South Station to do some human dominoes.
The story: A tour group of trendy New Yorkers off the Acela line up for tours. The tour leader does a few different actions that are repeated down the line. After everyone stretches, the tourist at the end sneezes, and knocks the others down like dominoes.
The outcome: People were more confused than delighted, but claps and cheers were heard throughout the station. A few agents were also questioned by the police.
We didn’t participate in the actual event, as we didn’t fit the agent criteria. Trendy New York kids don’t fit in as much.
I’ll tell you why people were more confused than delighted. They were wondering why the fuck someone would waste their time with this poor mans version of Project Mayhem. The fact that someone didn’t meet the “criteria” amazes me, after all what does it take to stand in South Station and look like an asshole for ten minutes?
It’s only a matter of time before someone does one of these, “I’m fucking [insert name]” videos, and is dead serious. In the meantime, we’ll just have to settle for Hillary Clinton singing this version of “I’m fucking Obama”.
First off, this video is NSFW. It’s about two dozen of your favorite celebrities dropping F bombs for the camera.
With that being said, I’d like to throw my hat in the ring and give my vote to “fuck”. Ultimately, it works in any situation and gets the point across. If I were stuck with only one curse word for the rest of my life it would be “fuck”. Without a doubt, it is the Leatherman of curse words and is appropriate to describe anything from pleasure, anger, to sarcasm.
