Don Chavez

During college, exercise consisted of watching the women of ESPN’s Bodyshaping, Fitness Beach, and Kiana Tom’s Flex Appeal exercise throughout the morning while nursing a hangover. The cast on these shows rotated, but the main core consisted of Kiana Tom, Jennifer Dempster, Page Langton, Kathy Derry, Deprise Brescia, the overaged Mary Jean Traetta, Shawnae Jebbia, and Leeann Tweeden. Out of the group, Kiana Tom made headlines after posing for Playboy, and Tweeden has gone on to become a frat house name. The rest faded away, although Kathy Derry keeps a website.

So my question to you is this…who was your favorite ESPN fitness girl? Unless you went to college between 1995 and 2002, chances are you never saw the show since it was on in the morning when most people are at work. Or did you prefer Denise Austin over the girls of ESPN?

The shows no longer air (to my knowledge), but there still is a bodyshaping website and swimsuit gallery.

Here’s some evidence why someone might say that Shawnae Jebbia was their favorite. It’s a clip from a thong contest, and it is undoubtably her as she says her name during the interview.

Update: Well it seems the video has been pulled from youtube, however Shawnae has submitted a video to become a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.

Last Thursday night I made another attempt at Midnight Money Madness. This time I didn’t get suckered into entering via phone, but instead used the free entry system via their webpage.

About 15 seconds after my fourth entry, I finally got the call back. I was put into the “hot room” and was waiting to go live on the air and name one of five Whitney Houston songs for $150. The crazy Whitney Houston impersonator on the screen all but told me that “Hold Me” was one of the songs (I’m not a fan of her music, but I did have a website pulled up listed all of her songs and lyrics).

So there I am on hold, waiting to cash in, and they decide to go to a commercial break. What happens to the “hot room” during this break? They dump it. That’s right; even though I had the call back, I was dumped. I kept entering on their website, and getting their message to try again if I didn’t receive a phone call within 30 seconds. Before I knew it, I was totally shut out. It seems that you are only allowed 10 entries per show.

In the meantime, I’m sure thousands of people were once again suckered into making 99 cent phone calls and text messages during the show. What a great scam. On a positive note, I wouldn’t have found this youtube video if they didn’t have the crazy Whitney question on the other night.

“Kiss my ass!”

Last night, I crawled into bed around 1 A.M. and turned on the television.  At first it appeared that I was watching an infomercial on TBS, but after being suckered in for 5 minutes I realized that it was actually a late night interactive game show.  It’s called Midnight Money Madness and it’s hosted by a cute British chick and a scrawny geek that wants this to be his stepping stone to MTV’s TRL.

The gameshow is very simple to play, and consists of a variety of word games.  Last night one segment asked callers to name the second word in the phrase Hard _____.  There were 5 different winning combinations, ranging in prize money from $50 to $250. 

I’m laying there and I realize how easy this game is.  How the hell do I cash in on it?  There was no ignoring the 900 number flashing on the screen, along with another message to send a text message to enter.  So I decided that I would pony up the 99 cents for the phone call and give them the final answer they were looking for (Hard Ass).  I dialed the number and got a recording saying I had 3 seconds to hang up, after which time I would be charged the 99 cents.  3 seconds later I heard a tone and a recording tell some ridiculous joke that wouldn’t make it onto a candy wrapper.  After the lame ass joke, I was thanked for entering and the recording said good-bye.  That was it! 

Apparently, and they fail to disclose this on the TV screen, your phone call enters you into the contest, and then they randomly call people back and put you into the “Hot Lounge” where you wait your turn to attempt to answer a question for cash.  It was only 1:20 and the show was on for another 80 minutes.  Even though I was tired, I couldn’t go to sleep.  After all, I had 99 cents on the line, and what if I got the callback? 

After a little research today, I found out that you can enter for FREE on their website.  This is one of the greatest 900 number scams I have ever seen.  They make long dramatic pauses during the show to make it seem as if nobody is actually calling in.  They do this to drive up the revenue generated by suckers like me who call in or send a text message.  In reality, they already have the next contestant and a handful of others already lined up.

Well, I learned my lesson.  I’m determined to get my shot at redeeming that 99 cents I lost, and I’ll try it again tonight.  Only this time I’ll play for FREE by registering on their website.  In case you’ve never seen the show, here is a clip of it from youtube…

I’ve been saying this since I attended the filming of Dane Cook’s HBO special Vicious Circle…he’s going to kill his own career.

I had been a fan of Dane Cook when he was just a simple comedian.  I’d see him on Comedy Central or a late night talk show, and he’d draw enough laughs out of me to go to his website and listen to his other bits.

When his HBO show Tourgasm hit the air, it showed me another side of the comedian.  It should me that yes, he could indeed produce a flop. The show was horrible, filled with recycled material and more was more self serving than funny.  The only interesting part of the show was the teenage girlish conflict between Robert Kelly and Jay Davis (along with Jay’s horrendous TLCK killer joke).

After Tourgasm was finished, the public started to speak out.  Cook was ripped by both Salon and the L.A. Times.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how Cook built his career.  He built it with Internet marketing.  It had never been done before by a comedian, and Cook made himself available to his fans.  Hands down, I think Bill Burr and Robert Schimmel have better material.  But when was the last time someone said to you, “Robert Schimmel is in my myspace top 8″.  Cook’s marketing plan was ingenius, and could be enough to carry his career for the next decade.  However, every aspiring comic has now seen what he has done, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is the new model for comedians trying to make it big; travel the country doing tour shows and make yourself accessible to your fans on the Internet.

One thing that could bring down Cook’s comedic empire his market oversaturation.  He was almost speechless in Waiting, and the public may choose to suffer through Employee of the Month on October 26th when it hits theaters.  Cook will also be appearing the flicks Mr. Brooks (release set for March 23, 2007), Transformers, and the romantic comedies Good Luck Chuck and Dan in Real Life.

So where will his career go after these movies hit the big screen.  Employee of the Month looks like it should go straight to video, Transformers will hold it’s own with the retro eighties crowd, and if the Chuck and Dan fail him we could be looking at the next Norm MacDonald here folks.  A FOX tv show wouldn’t surprise me, and after that’s canceled I think we’ll find Cook right where he belongs…telling jokes and making people laugh. 

Unfortunately this video hasn’t found it’s way onto youtube yet, so I can’t embed it.  Instead a link will have to suffice. 

Last Thursday during the first race at Horsemen’s Park in Omaha, Nebraska either someone forgot to move the starting gate, or John Deere wouldn’t start up.  Luckily nobody was hurt and the field ran around the gate in a whacky stretch drive.

See the video here

The War Emblem saga continues, as Japan is in denial that he is gay. The Japanese say that it’s just a phase, but War Emblem says he was born this way. This year, War Emblem was shown 100 mares, and only covered one. Unfortunately, that sole mare is not in foal, so War Emblem will not sire any foals in 2007.

Perhaps it’s time to try some unorthodox breeding techniques. For instance, they could use a male teaser horse, but as War Emblem nears the teaser they could blindfold him and pull the old switch-a-roo with a mare. It can take less than a minute for War Emblem to deliver his seed, and maybe he won’t realize that it was a mare. If they want to take it to the extreme, they could pull the double switch-a-roo and bring the male back after War Emblem is done with the mare, and dump a bucket of yogurt on the male’s back before removing the blindfold.

Since War Emblem has “brokeback” into the headlines, I thought I’d repost one of your favorite videos-Brokeback War Emblem

Bob Baffert has been fined a whopping $500 by the Churchill Downs stewards for two seperate incidents on Kentucky Derby. The first incident occurred when Baffert made contact with a security guard who denied paddock entrance to one of Baffert’s posse, noting that he had insufficient credentials.

The second incident occurred when Bode Miller was denied paddock entry, and Baffert walked up to the security guard and ripped off his credentials (plastic badge from Target) and handed it to Miller.

I imagine that Baffert must have dropped the “Do you know who I am?” line, which in any situation is going to make a rent-a-cop stand his ground. I imagine the physical confrontation looking something like this…

Unfortunately for Barbaro fans, I have just learned that his hind leg has become infected. The connections have turned to a Doctor who specializes in post-equine leg surgery reconstructive surgery. The reconstructive surgery was a success and Barbaro is all ready running. There is already a buzz that we might see him at Saratoga this Summer.