Seems pretty appropriate in light of his two gold medals last night. What a badass. According to my math, that makes 7,527 total Olympic medals for his career, of which 6,001 are gold. Impressive stuff. He gets my highest praise.
And he also gets a highlight reel set to a song by Phish for some reason. Eh. He can’t win ‘em all.
Offering proof that you can, in fact, trust a stranger, here’s a guy who goes around “attacking” people with spontaneous trust falls, obligating them to catch him. It’s dangerous, but less dangerous than tossing your baby at someone to preoccupy them to steal their wallet.
Which reminds me: If someone DOES throw their baby at you, don’t be a hero and go for the catch. Be like a defensive back on the last possession. Bat that shit to the ground.

It’s hard to find much in the way of interesting news outside of the Olympics, but here’s a fun little nugget for you: Ebola has killed fourteen people in Uganda recently, and medical experts are trying to figure out if it could find its way over the pond to the US.
For those not hip, Ebola is a rare virus that had a movie (‘Outbreak’) based on its ability to quickly jump from host to host and kill them. No cure is on the horizon, and it supposedly kills 90% of the people it touches. Well, that’s not good news at all, now is it? Maybe we should just get back to covering Olympics stuff, and not things that kill us that we are powerless to stop.

Perhaps my favorite part of the Olympics is turning on the TV and going, “Huh. That’s a sports?” Awesome. It happened last night when Vincent Hancock of the US won a gold medal for skeet shooting. Gun control WHAT? If you’ve ever been skeet shooting, you’d know that missing only 2 of 150 tries is pretty damn impressive, as is winning a gold medal for being handy with a shotgun. I think I found my new bodyguard. Do you think fans jump for errant shots the way they do for foul balls at baseball games?
Yeah, me neither. Congratulations, Vinent. Now go join the Army.